My ED’s and perfectionism
Well I do not know where to begin. oh boy, it has been a journey, and still, today, I am in that journey, finding balance, as well as achieving my goals but always remembering that perfectionism is not the way to go.
If anyone knows me, in the past, I suffered with an ED, it all began when I was little. Being an elite sports girl in rythmic gymnastics and synchronised ice-skating pushed me to become a perfectionist in all areas of my life, but here the problem became bigger when I noticed that even though I tried my best at being on top of everything it was never enough. School was a pressure, college was too and when I got to uni things just exploded.
After leaving Spain in 2017, I became sedentary and started to naturally gain weight, I did not have any interest on nutrition whatsoever and soon, I became really aware of my body image. I started to workout again, it was just in my room, but I was very aware of what workouts I was doing. I started to look into nutrition, and in a few months time these areas were my main focus once again. I started to loose weight, cut out food groups, but I did not know what I was really doing.
Once Covid-19 hit, I had completely lost most weight, including weight that I did not have to loose. I went back to Spain because my unit closed and I had to study at home. The relationship with my family members started to worsen, I lost all hope and my only focus was just food, and working out.
I could spend three or four hours a day doing exercise and this did not include my daily walks!! I also had all control around food, I just ate what I cooked and nothing else. Soon enough, I was diagnosed with Anorexia, and I had to start therapy. I started therapy and this did not work at all, I also started to go to the gym with a personal trainer, but I was so weak, a few months after he told me he could no longer take care of me.
Me on my recovery journey! Feeling successful.
Now, I can proudly say, that after three years, I have been able to come out of this horrible state. Just a few weeks back, I finished my last therapy session, I have to say that I never say I won’t ever go back, but I can now sort out myself with the tools my therapists has given me. I also started to go to the gym without my trainer as I have completed my masters in becoming a health coach and specially that learning from my errors has given me the opportunity to know how to properly fuel to perform at best. I am still in a process but it is all a journey and I would love you to jump in this journey with me! Feel free to message me any time.
